On Habit Formation. And choosing playfulness.

There is something strange in the assumption that we need fixing, in ourselves and in each other.

When you try to fix another person, you are, in a quiet way, saying that something is wrong with them, that they are not quite as they should be. And still, we do it to ourselves all the time, often without noticing.

It seems reasonable. Even responsible. To improve, to correct, to become better. Speaking as a former top athlete, the act of re-evaluating and improving is the skill that makes you better. And yet there is something in this pattern that creates tension and holds us back from actually cultivating the habits that our own bodies long for.

The wish of improving ourselves usually begins with a genuine intention. A desire to move in a direction that feels better, more aligned, more alive. At first, like with a diet or a sudden excitement to run, it feels good. But then the tone shifts from playfulness to something far more serious.

Curiosity gives way to evaluation. Movement becomes measurement. The mind begins to keep score, and it does so with a certain precision. It notices what is not working, what is missing, what could have been done better. It does this quickly, and often convincingly.

This matters more than it first appears, because habits form through repetition. The brain reorganizes itself around what is practiced. Not what is understood. Repetition strengthens neural pathways. Simpler behaviors are more likely to persist. Over time, actions shift from something you have to do to something you simply do (Singh et al., 2024; Buabang et al., 2025).

So the question is not only what you know. It is whether you repeat. And whether you can continue long enough for something to take hold. This is where the paradox becomes difficult to ignore.

The more you try to fix yourself, the harder it becomes to continue. Because the state you are practicing from begins to work against you.

If each step is met with correction, something tightens. If each attempt is measured, the action becomes fragile. The inner critic, even when it believes it is helping, interrupts the one thing habits depend on, which is continuation. In the end repetition is more often sustained through motivation and passion, rather than by force and control.

Research points in the same direction. When the system feels safe, it becomes more flexible, more able to learn and adapt. When it feels under pressure, it narrows (Frazier et al., 2017; Månsson et al., 2016; LeDoux et al., 2014).

Which, in practice, means that many people know exactly what to do, and still do not do it. Or they do it briefly, and then stop. Not because they lack discipline, but because repetition requires playfulness and a light vibe!

The good news; A small shift in attention can change the whole dynamic.

When attention moves to cheering for your every step in a good direction, even slightly, toward what is already working, something changes. When what has been done is allowed to count, even if it is small, the next action becomes more available.

There is something in the system that responds to them. A certain lightness. A sense that things are no longer held in the same way.

From there, repetition becomes easier.

A small action, when it is allowed, tends to return. A small step, when it is enough for now, makes space for another. Over time, this is what builds a habit.

Not force. Not correction. But repetition, playfulness, and choosing the light.

So the question changes from how to fix yourself to how to create the conditions in which you can keep going.

That is where self-compassion and play becomes the key to lasting habits. The best part about this is that all you need to realize, is that you are worth it.

PRACTICAL KEYS

• Wanna get that circadine rhythm better? You are worth a few minutes looking at the sunrise <3

• Want to reduce that back pain? You are worth a new setup at the desk (neck neutral) and a few walks around the block in between meetings.

• Want to reduce weight? You are worth yummi, healthy and delicious nutrients. Real food, lots of colours, and lots of protein and vegetables (growing above ground). These are gifts to yourself.

• Want to reduce distress? You are worth checking in with Endor Global (app) once a day to re-center and re-align. It only takes a few minutes and they have a freemium version.

• Want to strengthen your connections? You are worth spending time with your favourite humans or animals. Prioritize this, go out for a walk, a cup of tea, to learn something together. Who knows, maybe you find your next best friend while learning your new hobby or doing charity work?

Small gifts to yourself to re-charge and re-align <3 Because you are worth it. And from here, habit formation is a fun game, one that allows light and playfulness and joy.